Author’s note: I wrote this for the February 2007 HBX Challenge using the lines:
Kinky.
Yellow light, Major.
Oh, come on, Harm. Haven't we reached the point where we can drop the traffic signals?
Absolutely. Did I tell you why a female Marine is like the Energizer Bunny?
On second thought, let's not.
Disclaimer: The JAG background and characters are obviously not mine. I'm just playing pretend.
Rating: Appropriate for teens and older. This story includes sexual innuendo, but nothing explicit.
Time for Bed
by Teacup
Harm was worried about his wife. She’d been in court all week and working as hard as he’d ever seen her. He knew it was an important case, but he also knew she was already so prepared that she could handle it in her sleep. … And sleep was exactly what she really needed.
He stood in the doorway of their study looking in at her, observing her slightly disheveled state as she remained completely absorbed in her activity. She was diligently going over note cards, mouthing sentence after sentence to herself.
For the most part he had let her be all evening, except to bring her food which she otherwise would not have taken the time to eat. He thought it was time to intervene again.
“Hey, Mac, are you coming to bed?” Without waiting for what he knew would be her answer, he continued, “I think the best thing you can do for your client at this point is to relax and get a good night’s sleep so you’ll be sharp in court tomorrow.”
“Yeah, soon,” she automatically responded. “… I’m just going over my closing argument. I think the judge will have us wrap things up tomorrow, and I need this closing to be stellar. … This case is so close that it can really go either way. I need to win over those members who are on the fence.”
Harm walked over to Mac and brushed his fingers through her hair. “I’m sure your closing will be stellar. … You always are.”
“Always?” she repeated skeptically.
“Yes, Colonel, your performance,” he bent over and kissed her on the side of her neck, “… is always stellar,” he suggestively implied that he wasn’t talking about the courtroom.
“Harm, be serious. A lot is riding on this case.”
“I am serious.” He straightened up and sat on the corner of the desk. “What can I do to help?” he offered.
“Actually, will you listen to it? Help me work out its kinks.”
“I don’t know,” he playfully pondered, “it may be in your best interest to leave the kinks in.”
“What?” came the baffled response.
Making it his job to at least give his wife a few minutes break with some nonsense, Harm answered, “Sex sells, Mac. Everyone knows that. People don’t like to admit it, but it’s what makes them pay attention. You want the members to listen? … Leave your argument as ‘kinky’ as possible.”
“Kinky,” repeated Mac, not believing her husband was joking about something as important as this case.
“Absolutely,” he responded. “How many men are on the jury? Turning them on will surely help the verdict go your way. And trust me, if you leave ‘kinky’ in, it will be a turn on for the members, …”
Mac interrupted, “Yellow light!”
“… Major turn on,” Harm went on undeterred. “Even if they’re not into those things, it sparks a certain … interest. And when you appeal to a man’s -”
“RED LIGHT, Harm!” she snapped, stopping him from going on any further. She was in no mood for his games.
“Red light? … Mac, how long have we been married? Haven’t we reached the point where we can drop the traffic signals?”
“This is work, Harm,” Mac insisted.
He shook his head. “No, Mac,” he gently disagreed, reaching to caress her cheek with his hand. “This is not the office, and these are not working hours. We are in our home, … and it’s time for bed.”
“When I have a big case, the work comes home. You know that, Harm. You’ve done the same thing.”
“Yes, but Mac, you’ve been working on this non-stop. You don’t need to find any last minute clinchers. You know everything you need, and your closing argument will be brilliant as long as you don’t run yourself down and stress yourself out tonight.”
“Harm,” she began to object. She knew that a straight refusal would not be enough to get her husband to ease up, so she tried a different tactic. “Did I tell you why a female Marine is like the Energizer Bunny?”
That question pleasantly surprised Harm. “No,” he answered with a grin, “but I believe you’ve demonstrated it to me many times.” Then he looked at her with mock disapproval. “… And now who needs the traffic lights?” he accused.
She sighed in moderate frustration. “Would you get your mind out of the gutter for a minute?” she politely requested.
“Sweetheart, when it comes to you, my mind is never in the gutter,” Harm asserted. “In the bed, … often, … sometimes the couch, the kitchen table, the desk at the office, some other places where things could be interesting, … but never in the gutter. … I mean how disgusting is that?”
Mac ignored him. “… The answer is that she does keep going, … sees things to the end, working full steam throughout, … and she has the capacity to do so. … I know what you’re trying to do, Harm. And I love you for it. But, I’m fine.”
He soberly responded, “I know, but that doesn’t mean I don’t worry about what’s best for you. … And I still think it would be better for you to come to bed now.”
“After I go over this one more time. … You gonna help or not?”
“… Sure. I’ll help.” He sat down on the small sofa there in the study. “But I really think we should leave the kinks in,” he teased.
He knew the case had nothing to do with anything ‘kinky,’ but he was having fun with his wordplay. “Let’s make this a closing argument that will ‘peak’ the interest of the jury.”
“Harm, considering that the majority of the members in this case are men, I think the easier way for me to ‘peak’ their interest during closing would be to stick out my chest, swing my hips, and speak to them with a lilt in my voice.”
“On second thought, let’s not,” Harm quickly decided. He was not an especially jealous husband; Mac gave him no reason to be. But he certainly did not like other men ogling his wife.
“Oh, come on, Harm,” Mac finally got into his teasing game. She threw back at him, “Sex sells. … Maybe I should have been using my feminine wiles to get the advantage in court all these years.”
“You wouldn’t do that,” Harm said confidently. “You’re far too good an officer to use anything but honest trial tactics.” Pointing at her, he added, “… And it’s a good thing you weren’t taking advantage of your ‘feminine wiles’ in court against me all those years.”
Mac stepped close to her husband. “Why is that?” She gently stroked the side of his head.
“Because,” he answered, placing his hand over hers, “not only would I have lost to you on every case with an all male jury, … but at some point I would have been guilty of a major breach of courtroom protocol the day I’d finally snap from frustration at your technique.”
By the time Harm had finished speaking, each of his hands had taken Mac’s opposite, and both sets of their clasped fingers hung between them.
“That doesn’t sound good,” Mac admitted. “Would you have done something totally crazy like grabbing a gun and shooting holes in the ceiling? ‘Cause I understand that’s forgivable.” Her lip turned up just a little.
He gave her a dirty glare. Would she ever let him forget that? “No, smarty pants.”
With a glint in his eyes, he told her, “… I would have gotten up out of my chair …”
He demonstrated by standing now. “… walked over to you, …”
He let go of her hands and pulled his wife into his arms. “… and kissed you with everything I had.”
Mac automatically returned the embrace and gazed up into her husband’s face. With a small smile, she commented sarcastically, “Admiral Morris would have loved that.”
“I don’t care what he loves. I love you.” Harm kissed his wife quickly and then loosened his hold on her. “… So let’s get this show on the road, so we can get you to bed.”
But Mac did not let go of Harm. She glanced at her note cards. She had been through them a dozen times already tonight. Then she looked up at her husband, her lover. “You know what, Harm?”
“No, what?” Since Mac had not released him, his hands returned to her, lightly resting on her upper arms, soothing her.
“I think you were right when you came in here. … I do know this argument inside out, and I’m just over-worrying. I need to relax and get some rest.”
“You sure? Because I’m willing to listen. … I want to help.”
“I would really like your help … in the relaxing department before I go to sleep.”
“Relaxing, huh? Does that mean you want a massage or … that you want some special quality time in bed with your hunk of a husband?”
“Yes,” she stated.
“To which one?”
“To both.”
He mockingly chastised her. “You’re so demanding.”
“And you love it.”
“Yeah, I guess I do.”
Mac released Harm, moved the note cards back to their appropriate spot by her briefcase and turned out the desk light.
“So, Harm,” Mac began pondering out loud, “… you’re a man.”
“Thank you for noticing.”
She was thinking about his earlier joking comments. “Does ‘kinky’ turn you on?”
He laughed. “I plead the Fifth.”
“This isn’t court, you can’t plead that.”
“True, … but I still don’t have to answer, because you already know me well enough to know what kind of stuff
I’m not into …”
“Right, no gutters,” she humorously offered, based on another of his previous comments.
“And, my dear, … you … are uniquely qualified to know exactly … what does turn me on.”
“Mmmm, I do.” She took his hand and began to walk backwards out of the study, leading Harm along with her. “And you know how to turn me on,” she said, “… just by being your wonderful, loving self.”
Harm turned off the light and closed the study door behind them. “I thought it was because I’m a hunk?”
“It’s because … you know how to treat me right,” she said suggestively. Then she added, as if it wasn’t what she had already, in part, been talking about, “And you’re not bad in bed either.”
Hand in hand, the couple climbed the steps together.
----
Epilogue
With the confidence that her husband instilled in her, Mac proved Harm right about her ability to give a stellar
performance …
… And she also delivered her closing argument brilliantly the next morning. After a very short jury deliberation, Mac was informed that she had won the case.
She was a proud Marine that day, but was an even happier woman who would go home to her very caring and supportive husband; the man to whom she surely owed part of this victory – the part that kept her functioning at a healthy and happy level. Like an ‘energizer bunny’ or not, this Marine would not have succeeded as far as she had without the attention and encouragement of a certain squid.
Yes, Sarah MacKenzie Rabb was learning not to underestimate what a good night in her husband’s loving arms could do for her. … Not to mention that, before escorting her off to dreamland, Harm had given quite the stellar performance himself, sharing with her the passion that only their love could create.
Without a doubt, her favorite time of day … was when it was time for bed.
The End